i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
