Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
