What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
