Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
