I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Mom said you looked used
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
