Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
