just tell him i said nine months
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
