just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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