I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize