it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
