I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize