there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
