I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
