after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
