so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
