I want to walk on stilts...naked
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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