I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
