I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
