This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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