well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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