What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
