So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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