Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
