so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
