New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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