I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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