I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
