I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
