Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
