i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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