So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
