she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like eating out sand paper
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
