Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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