i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
