Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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