Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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