you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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