you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
