yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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