GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
