I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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