that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
