Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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