Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
