Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
