Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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