i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
