that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
