If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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