i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
