sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
