I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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