You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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