The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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