oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The power of my boobs compel you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
