new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
