if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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