Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
