Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
