Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
